Is IQ the best measure of intelligence? No. Daniel Goleman asserts that our traditional view of intelligence is far too limited. Goleman shares real-life situations in which people with modest IQs succeed while people with higher IQs do not. He attributes this success to an ability to understand and manage emotions. He refers to this ability as emotional intelligence and defines it as:
1.- knowing yourself / 2.- Managing yourself / 3.- Recognizing other's emotions / 4.- Managing other's emotions
Using specific everyday examples, Goleman states that while childhood is a critical time for developing emotional intelligence, these skills can be developed and strengthened throughout life.
Psychologists and Medical doctors have been proving that there are personal characteristics called emotional intelligence which are responsible for the ways we behave, how we feel, how we relate to others, how well we do at our jobs, and how healthy we are. Not knowing your emotional intelligence tendencies can result in being incompatible with other people, not being happy with your job, not succeeding at your job, and being physically unhealthy - with stress-related problems.
Knowing your emotional intelligence gives you the opportunity to position yourself to be with people you are naturally compatible with, and to seek out jobs that naturally fit you. You can also understand what makes you incompatible with certain people or jobs and learn ways to deal with the natural difficulties. You can understand the specific things that cause you stress and learn ways to become more at peace.
You See Emotional Intelligence Every Day! At this time, we want to show you, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that emotional intelligence affects your life every single day. We will later be sharing research, but first let's prove it for yourself. You have seen emotional intelligence but may not have known what it was. You have seen it in your relationships, in your tasks, in your feelings and behavior, and in the people all around you.
You can evaluate your emotional intelligence in 3 different scopes:
* Your Relationships: Think of someone you have related to over a significant period of time that you have some conflicts with. Despite conversation and sharing of both points of view, you still disagree. You see it one way and the other person sees it very differently. What you do irritates them and or what they do irritates you. Yet, there are other people you find very easy to relate to. You naturally get along with them with very little effort.
* Your Tasks: Now think about work or tasks that you have found unpleasant to do. You know you can do it but you just don't want to. Perhaps you do it half-heartedly and may not do it as well as you know you can. Somehow, others seem to like the task although its hard to imagine how they could. Other tasks or jobs you really like to do and find easy to do. It may be hard for some others but not to you.
•Your Feelings and Actions: Sometimes you find yourself wanting to do or doing what you know you shouldn't do. Some motivation from inside you pushes you. Sometimes you feel stress where others feel less.
In my experience managing people (from sales, marketing, and administrative areas) I feel that this is one the key competences that a manager must have to succeed! Because people is the most important resources that a managers manages every day, and the only on that can bring powerful results just by motivating and develop people to achieve better results. To succeed, a manager should uses this important skill –EI- to use his/her emotions in a better way. Let´s see one example: Charles was hired to be a sales manager. He was intelligent, physically fit, had a Batchelor's degree in business, and excelled at the sales managers training program. Yet, after just a few months on the job, he was failing and was ready to be fired. What happened? His emotional intelligence did not fit the job. He was non assertive, indecisive, too tolerant, and could not face problems as they developed. As a result, his people did a poor job of serving the customers.
Charles learned about his Emotional Intelligence - both positive traits, as well as the ones that were getting in the way of his success. He made some quality decisions and with effort, soon was the top manager in this company. He went on to become a successful executive with the company and later became president of another company.
Seems easy? But unfortunately is not so easy if you are not aware… The best way is to study yourself and the others and try to understand why do people behave that way, wich are their real motivations and emotions that are usual hidden. Check the things that you are not compatible with and find a way to adjust. Write it on a peace of paper, because it´s easier for you to organize yourself.
At the end, please have fun and become the president of the company….
(Nelson Pires – Sal&Mar; source and free adatation from Daniel Goleman´s book “Emotional Intelligence)